By Elvis Ekow Ansah   /   Jan 01st, 2021

What you feed will grow, what you feed on can choke your growth, what you starve will die
What you heed to makes you a slave and what you subdue becomes your subject; slay or be slain
Unfortunately, my flesh is obese, I’ve been feeding it junk food to the detriment of my Spirit, I need to feed on the word of God for redemption – soulfood
I’ve fallen prey to the obsessive desires of my flesh because I refuse to pray
Now I’ve been preyed on, my desire to follow God has been sapped. Maybe I need to be prayed on to break free
Addictions have maimed my convictions and given a leeway for the devil to fill my mind with accusations; voices in my head telling me, not even the blood of Jesus is good enough a compensation for this guilt I feel.
Incognito browser modes couldn’t hide me from the all-seeing eyes of God; I tried playing it safe, no one needs to know what I’ve been up to.
So, I’m in a “friends with benefits relationship” with my flesh, we have no love for each other but we seem to look out for us.
My spirit man feels cheated on; He tries to have a chitchat with me but I’m engrossed in this gross mess of a relationship; I need to get off this ship before it sinks.
I try to run to God for forgiveness.
“Lord I promise I’ll never sin against you”, just like Peter I had so much confidence in my flesh but he smiles and pats me on the shoulder saying “before the day ends, you’d have changed between various porn sites” and He goes ahead to say “but come back to me for mercy”.
It happened once… I came back again for mercy
Twice…… “God I’m sorry it won’t happen again”
You’re waiting for me to say the “Third time” right?
Sorry I’ve lost track of the number of times I told that lie “This is going to be the last time it happens”
The all-knowing God; His real eyes realise real lies
Does He still love me? Even when it looks like I’m intentionally doing this?
The devil has succeeded in master baiting many of God’s people into masturbation.
This predator is pre-dating many souls and has stolen the rightful place of God in many lives.
I’m very conflicted, I know what to do but I keep going around this circle cycle
I’m very afflicted, now I’ve learnt what prison means so freedom makes much sense
Since sin sat in the sink of my life, my thoughts have been soaked in filthy images of obscene beings in scenes I shouldn’t have seen in the first place.
The devil has played the role of Pinocchio so well by painting lies in beautiful fictions; I keep falling for them all the time – Humpty Dumpty I need a Savior to put me back together
Like the Apostle Paul, this is a thorn in my flesh and I need to get rid of it before it tears my whole flesh apart.
This is not the time to play games with the devil, he’s very skillful at this and you surely won’t win
Don’t dance with the devil he will step on your toes and you will be the one apologising
I won’t lie to you, overcoming pornography and masturbation wasn’t an easy thing to do but relying on God’s love for strength in my weakness was a surety in winning this battle

I pray God grants you the strength to keep resisting the devil and enough energy to flee when the need be. Stay rooted in God’s love.
Much love❤️, Ekow.

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